--- product_id: 166075748 title: "I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (P.S.) Paperback – February 7, 2006" brand: "josh kilmer-purcell" price: "฿1470" currency: THB in_stock: true reviews_count: 7 category: "Books" url: https://www.desertcart.co.th/products/166075748-i-am-not-myself-these-days-a-memoir-p-s store_origin: TH region: Thailand --- # I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (P.S.) Paperback – February 7, 2006 **Brand:** josh kilmer-purcell **Price:** ฿1470 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (P.S.) Paperback – February 7, 2006 by josh kilmer-purcell - **How much does it cost?** ฿1470 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.co.th](https://www.desertcart.co.th/products/166075748-i-am-not-myself-these-days-a-memoir-p-s) ## Best For - josh kilmer-purcell enthusiasts ## Why This Product - Trusted josh kilmer-purcell brand quality - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description .com Review I Am Not Myself These Days is Josh Kilmer-Purcell's outrageously intimate memoir of a young man living a double life in the heady days and nights of mid-'90s New York City. As we follow Kilmer-Purcell through alcohol-fueled nights and a love affair with Jack, a crack-addicted male escort, he offers up an alternative universe where normal is "a Normal Rockwell painting that, if you leaned in close, would discover is made up entirely of misfits." By day, Josh drudges off to a Soho-based advertising firm where he creates ad campaigns for corporate clients. At night, he dons live goldfish to complete the look of Aqua, a 7-foot-tall award-winning drag queen who trolls gay clubs in search of her next drink/one night stand. In between, he spends his time trying to build a stable, loving relationship with someone whose beeping pager is a constant reminder of the pair's almost inevitable fate. Yet even as Josh's escapades get increasingly absurd, Kilmer-Purcell is always there to remind us that the story we're reading is real, and that fundamental human emotions and desires are essentially universal. In the end, everyone just wants to be loved and to fit in somewhere. And while the lesson may seem hokey at times, Kilmer-Purcell's sharp wit rescues the memoir from becoming an exaggerated sob story: The night before any major holiday is always a blockbuster night at gay clubs. Thousands... across the city fortifying themselves for long trips home where they'll be met with awkward silences, stilted conversations and cousins with whom they'd experimented with decades ago. From start to finish, I Am Not Myself These Days is an extraordinary journey into an amazing life. To be a fly on the wall is an adventure that should not be missed. --Gisele Toueg Read more From Publishers Weekly In the go-go '90s, Kilmer-Purcell spent his days as an advertising grunt and his nights hopping around Manhattan's gay clubs as "Aquadisiac," over seven feet tall in a wig and heels with goldfish swimming in transparent bubbles covering "her" breasts. (Not that Kilmer-Purcell wanted to actually become a woman; as he explains to his mother, a drag queen is "a celebrity trapped in a normal person's body.") He meets a cute guy, and soon he's moved into Jack's penthouse apartment—which he pays for by working as a male escort. Kilmer-Purcell gives much of his story a Sex and the City-ish spin, finding comedy in the contrast between his and Jack's sweet, cuddly relationship and the sexual demimonde of drag queens, hookers and masochists they count among their friends. But there's always a dark undercurrent: before the two get serious, Kilmer-Purcell's alcohol-impaired judgment frequently puts him in dangerous situations, but things get worse when Jack starts smoking crack during sex parties and becomes addicted. The exact, unpitying detail with which Kilmer-Purcell depicts his downward spiral makes it impossible to look away, especially since it's not until the final scenes that he allows himself to succumb to sentimentality. (Feb.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. Read more See all Editorial Reviews ## Images ![I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (P.S.) Paperback – February 7, 2006 - Image 1](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31hpd68y91L.jpg) ![I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (P.S.) Paperback – February 7, 2006 - Image 2](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ruaSul%2BBL.jpg) ![I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (P.S.) Paperback – February 7, 2006 - Image 3](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/31-4XLnmTOL.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐ GTS - another gay tale of sadness *by J***E on June 10, 2019* Clowns make me uneasy. Angry drag queens can unnerve me, but their sense of humor can disarm that, but only if I'm in on the joke. The first half of this story had an uncanny humor - from the descriptions of a life shaped in Wisconsin and his understanding of his mother's misunderstanding of drag vs. trans to the reality of the commercialization of the scene and attendant misuse of drugs and alcohol, but once the shit gets real, the story telling looses. I'm well aware of the quiet destitution that permates any drag show ending. It is often used as a trope to connect any kind of real emotion to the audience, who are complicit in the illusion; we're just a couple of gay friends suffering our unique suffering. Please, laugh with us. But the second half of this story lays bare the illusion with the same historical trope nongay writers and Hollywood (think, the boys in the band) use as the cautionary story telling of gay lives... be gay or a drag queen and you'll end up sad, despondent and if not dead, watching 80s TV series, and then dead. My suspension of hope shattered. My first thought was how could an admittedly overachiever - and commentator of the reality of the illusion we all contribute to - miss the hope in front of him? How could a hystercaly fun and humane beginning (I cried at least twice and out loud laughed 6x more often) end so inhumanely? How could self reflective gay drag queen miss the hope. Cycsim and snark are wonderful tools to open up the reality but once cracked open, truth has to win out and it doesn't always have be pathetic or suicidal or wistful. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Loved, loved this book. *by M***E on December 18, 2017* I had just started the authors Bucolic Plague- and ordered his two other books. This and his non-fiction work. I'm glad I read them in this order. I fell in love with him. And I'm glad I did. I don't know why. This book is witty, raw, honest and funny. I cried at the end. Differently than Bucolic. I SOBBED for about 10 seconds in Bucolic. This book just brought me to tears. It's very, very good. And I would recommend buying both. I haven't read the third book. Yet. Lol. This is a marathon I'm on. I have bought many books from the same author at one time. But never read more than one in succession. Please do yourself a favor. Read them all. It's worth it. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ A Heartbreaking "Must-Read" *by M***N on November 20, 2012* I have been a fan of the Beekman boys for several years, so it was natural for me to want to read it and see more of Josh's life; but this is a must read for anyone struggling with identity and/or self-doubt issues.The courage it took to write this book...to bare one's self to the world; to reveal the destructive choices, the pain, and the ridicule (even self-inflicted), is the epitome of strength and self-preservation."I Am Not Myself These Days" will make you laugh, make you cry. It will break your heart yet give you hope. You'll want to shake Josh and scream, "WTF?!" on one page, then yearn to wrap your arms around him and hold him on the next. It's such an emotional roller coaster that you forget it's really someone's life you're being allowed a glimpse into.Incredible. Incredulous. Profound. To Josh I humbly say, "Thank you for sharing with us that we may be better, stronger for reading. May you have only happiness for the rest of your life...you've had enough heartache. " --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.co.th/products/166075748-i-am-not-myself-these-days-a-memoir-p-s](https://www.desertcart.co.th/products/166075748-i-am-not-myself-these-days-a-memoir-p-s) --- *Product available on Desertcart Thailand* *Store origin: TH* *Last updated: 2026-06-06*