Sociopath: A Memoir

I was riveted by this book, and read it from cover to cover in a few days. Despite some of the caveats I mention below, I believe this is worthy of 5 stars and is well worth reading. Summary: Very briefly, the book is the author's life story about growing up as a sociopath. As the book describes, sociopaths have some capacity for emotions such as empathy and love, but it is far more muted than most people's. The story tells of the author's journey to understand and accept herself. I found the story very entertaining and an easy read. Why should you read this book? - The book takes you into the mind of a sociopath, and it is fascinating to see the world through a viewpoint that is radically different than one's own. It also shows provides a reframe of a word with a very negative connotation. - For those who have sociopathy, this may be a chance to read a book that helps you understand yourself, and provides words for your reality. - Most significantly for me, the book is a deep exploration of what life is like when our inner emotions do not align with what we believe we should be doing. This is a topic that I believe almost all people can relate to. Whether it is someone who struggles with addiction, deals with compulsive behaviors, has a temper or loses control in any way, we are dealing with a reality where our own behaviors are not aligned with how we believe we should be behaving. This is incredibly common, and yet, the conversations about this reality and the challenges it creates, including the practical impact of these behaviors on ourselves and others, but also the emotional and psychological impact of feeling as if we are not in control and we are not living up to who we want to be, can be enormously damaging. And yet, we rarely talk about this. Most people do not have the vocabulary to explore this or communicate about this. And this is something that the book provides. And a reason I believe it is a very important read even in light of my later comments. Is it for children: The content and book length are probably not suitable for very young children. For those who are considering it for children and want to know about the content, it has a bit of violence and talks extensively about breaking the law. There is some language. Sex is barely mentioned. Is it Real: There are times in the book where it felt to me as if the story and revelations 'fit together' a bit too well and this made me wonder about whether aspects of the story were fabricated. The author notes in the beginning that some characters are composites, and throughout the book, provides insight into her grappling with telling the truth. I (of course) do not know whether the story is basically true, or if aspects are not. I am also not nearly enough of an expert to know whether the understanding of sociopaths as portrayed in the book is in line with modern research. Even with this said, I highly recommend reading this book. It is thought-provoking and entertaining and easy to read.

Patric Gagne has written an exceptional memoir. Entertaining, honest, and meaningful. I am glad I found this book, thus changing my bias about people diagnosed with sociopathy. I was guilty of buying into the Hollywood image of a sociopath, and I see now how wrong that is. I appreciated that Patric said in the introduction that she was very privileged and lucky to have the upbringing and opportunities she has had, otherwise things could have ended very differently for her, the way if ends for a large amount of sociopaths as seen at the prison her uncle worked at. The writing style played almost like a novel with the addition of scientific research and personal anecdotes. Patric is doing excellent and important work with this memoir. I will be recommending this to everyone I know for years to come!

Spellbinding story with incomprehensible mind jolting revelations page after page. The writing is clear and succinct, and with an honest clarity that has the reader emphatic regardless of the author’s hopelessly sinister and self-aware actions. A wide-eyed, omg mesmerizing read.

This book is a fascinating deep dive into the mind of a sociopath—one who, unlike the ones we see in crime dramas, isn’t out here committing heinous acts but is instead navigating life with a brain wired very differently from the rest of us. Patric Gagne mixes personal anecdotes, scientific research, and some self-deprecating humor to create a memoir that reads almost like a novel. That said, it sometimes veers into clinical territory, which can be a bit dense; but, if you’re into psychological deep dives, you’ll eat it up. The book is a touch long. It could have been 50 pages shorter and still just as effective. But even with that, it’s still worth the read. Gagne’s work is important, not just in explaining what sociopathy really is but also in highlighting how her privilege and stable upbringing kept her from ending up like the sociopaths her uncle encountered working in a prison. She fully acknowledges that luck played a role in her path, which is refreshing to see. The childhood years were the best part, IMO. If you also have an unsettling fascination with kids who exhibit deviant behavior (in a purely academic way, of course), you’ll love this section. Watching her piece together how and why she was different from other kids is both eerie and compelling. Final verdict: Super interesting, sometimes heavy on the psych jargon, a tad long, but absolutely worth it for anyone intrigued by the inner workings of the human mind.

The psychological makeup of sociopaths is so interesting not only because they are different, but because their qualities, in some contexts, are positive. “People go to yoga and spend thousands of dollars on meditation classes to learn how to let go and feel nothing. But I get to do it every day. For free.” This book is well written, possibly with much editorial assistance, and has attributes of much good fiction: a complex character who evolves, and is not always consistent. It is rich in incident and offers psychological insight, primarily about sociopaths, but also about cognitive therapy and borderline personality disorder. At the same time, the author’s behavior and thought can occasionally be tiresome because of repetitiveness, but this is not a big problem. Patric cites a prominent psychologist who distinguished between primary emotions and learned emotions: “anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, anticipation, trust, and joy” are primary; “empathy, guilt, shame, remorse, jealousy, even love” are learned. As Patric says, sociopaths have “an emotional learning disability”. Patric has to work hard not only to learn, but to accept her difference. Patric is not as fearful nor as trusting as most people. SPOILER ALERT. When Patric meets her future husband at age 14 (he is 4 years older) he is very accepting of her. When they are in an adult relationship, it requires couples therapy before he can accept her, even her evolved self, and not see her as damaged. It is apparently only in college that Patric learns to mimic other people’s emotions and make “friends”. She later becomes freer in telling people she is a sociopath, but they can project onto her what is convenient for them to think this means and even to justify their own behavior, especially in the music business where she works for some years. I was a bit surprised at how long it took, with all the research and therapy and self-improvement, for Patric to consistently accept herself. I did find it humorous that Patric physically avenged her preschooler, without causing the other kid much hurt and so that it looked like an accident.

Still not entirely convinced it's a real memoir, but it's overall very well written. A great book for a book club, it really makes you think about what makes us human. And how we can better understand our own impulses to become better versions of ourselves

Started to read this in an hotel abroad, very interesting book got here very fast

I bought this book via Audible not knowing what to expect. I find it incredibly engrossing! Just having some insight into a world we do not get to see from someone who can recount it intelligently feels like a gift. My own child has narcissistic personality disorder and I could see ways that I could have been a better parent listening to this book! It feels like pulling back the blinds and getting a sneak peek into Patric’s psyche- which I suppose it is.

I thoroughly enjoyed the book! Her intelligence and originality brought about a breakthrough to the category of sociopaths as something more like emotional learning disability as mentioned in the book, something akin to autism. However, I think god endowed her along with intelligence external beauty to allow her to have lifelong partnerships to make it happen (I doubt a David will appear for a plain sociopath...)

Incredible read for the open-minded. Some say it's too dragged out or too 'dark' or blunt, but I disagree. You're reading about someone's life, maybe you recognise yourself in parts, maybe you don't, it's still a good book. Don't expect some flowery tale.

This memoir provided a whole new perspective on what a ‘sociopath’ is and how their brain works. It is very well written! I will be sharing this book with my friends who are psychotherapists so it may help in their practice with clients.

A fascinating look into how grey the world, which people want to seem to paint in black and white, can be.

Sociopath certainly was an eye opening book to read