---
product_id: 8391377
title: "Traumatic Narcissism (Relational Perspectives Book Series)"
price: "฿5867"
currency: THB
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reviews_count: 13
url: https://www.desertcart.co.th/products/8391377-traumatic-narcissism-relational-perspectives-book-series
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---

# Traumatic Narcissism (Relational Perspectives Book Series)

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- **What is this?** Traumatic Narcissism (Relational Perspectives Book Series)
- **How much does it cost?** ฿5867 with free shipping
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## Description

In this volume, Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation, Daniel Shaw presents a way of understanding the traumatic impact of narcissism as it is engendered developmentally, and as it is enacted relationally. Focusing on the dynamics of narcissism in interpersonal relations, Shaw describes the relational system of what he terms the 'traumatizing narcissist' as a system of subjugation – the objectification of one person in a relationship as the means of enforcing the dominance of the subjectivity of the other. Daniel Shaw illustrates the workings of this relational system of subjugation in a variety of contexts: theorizing traumatic narcissism as an intergenerationally transmitted relational/developmental trauma; and exploring the clinician's experience working with the adult children of traumatizing narcissists. He explores the relationship of cult leaders and their followers, and examines how traumatic narcissism has lingered vestigially in some aspects of the psychoanalytic profession. Bringing together theories of trauma and attachment, intersubjectivity and complementarity, and the rich clinical sensibility of the Relational Psychoanalysis tradition, Shaw demonstrates how narcissism can best be understood not merely as character, but as the result of the specific trauma of subjugation, in which one person is required to become the object for a significant other who demands hegemonic subjectivity. Traumatic Narcissism presents therapeutic clinical opportunities not only for psychoanalysts of different schools, but for all mental health professionals working with a wide variety of modalities. Although primarily intended for the professional psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, this is also a book that therapy patients and lay readers will find highly readable and illuminating.

Review: A Rare Find and Must Read for All psychotherapists - In my 40 years as a practicing psychologist, I have not come across a professional book that has had as much impact on the breadth of my understanding of the dynamics of narcissism, on the depth of my relational work with clients suffering from having experienced traumatizing narcissism at the hands of those upon whom they depended on for care, and on the clients themselves to whom I gave the book at some point in the course of treatment. With eloquence, and in language that is meaningful to professionals, and accessible to the layperson who might be in search of greater understanding of their suffering, Daniel Shaw clearly, and empathically lays out the intergenerational transmission of narcissism and its devastating effects on those who have experienced it in various relational contexts. He brings in knowledge and theory from many other current experts on narcissism and dissociation, such as Kalsched, Howell and Bromberg, and going back historically, Winnicott, Fairbairn, and the early psychoanalysts. He integrates their contributions into his own elegant formulations, and brings in examples from literature and theatre to illustrate some of his ideas. Also included are illuminating, and deeply moving case examples from his own clinical practice. Clients of mine who have read the book consistently describe being “seen” by Shaw in an unprecedented way, often bringing me excerpts that are particularly touching to them. What an enormous gift to those who have experienced such suffering in life. The understanding patients receive from Shaw’s attuned and caring descriptions of what have been the core dilemmas that have shaped their adaptations to developmental adversity throughout their lives, has enhanced their therapeutic process significantly Daniel Shaw is a gifted writer and theoretician, as well as an extraordinarily compassionate and attuned human being. His emphasis on the necessity for the analyst to fully engage from an intersubjective perspective with clients, showing up with authenticity and appropriate transparency in the analytic process is woven throughout the book, and has become a guiding light to me in my own work. I have given Shaw’s book to numerous colleagues who share my enthusiasm and it has become a centerpiece in the Master’s level curriculum of professional trainings I collaborate in teaching. I am grateful beyond words for his contribution, and look forward to his further publications.
Review: Excellent, well-written, worthwhile read! - I purchased this book after hearing the author speak at a conference, and to contribute to my studies of abusive churches/cults. Daniel Shaw present two ideas that I found particularly powerful and enlightening in this book. 1. There is a type of narcissist rightly called a "traumatizing narcissist"; one who transfers his/her shame/inadequacy/fear, etc., out of himself/herself, and onto those whom he/she relates to. Shaw's perspective is primarily shaped through his observations as a psychoanalyst, but readily applies to the more severe instances of pastoral/spiritual abuse found in some churches. The book contributed greatly to my studies of false teachers/false prophets in Christian churches. 2. A worthy goal in people-helping is to seek a healthy expression of what Shaw terms "analytic love." This is a relationship goal in which both the client and the analyst relate as equals in a mutually respectful relationship marked by consideration, kindness, empathy, and equality. Shaw's primary focus is to address and criticize the coldness of a professional relationship in the counseling environment, in which the counseled is de facto "under" the care and authority of the counselor. The counselor (in this defective system) may express superiority, lack of love/concern, etc., in any number of subtle (and not so subtle) ways, perpetuating the distance between the "helper" and the one being helped. In doing so, the counselor often creates the same conditions of which the client/patient is seeking to recover from: an absence of love and protection from care-givers. I did not expect to find what is (to me) such a clear indictment of the tendency to relate as an authority figure in pastoral counseling, in such a way that creates distance between the member and the pastor, and prohibits a genuine, relational, therapeutic engagement that best expresses the Christian goal of edification and agape love. While this is not a Christian book, and the author's beliefs regarding faith are not revealed--it is a clear and insightful (though unintended) presentation of a healthy, Christ-like model of pastoral care. Highly recommended.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #524,251 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #55 in Trauma Surgery #393 in Personality Disorders (Books) #488 in Psychopathology |
| Customer Reviews | 4.8 out of 5 stars 189 Reviews |

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## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A Rare Find and Must Read for All psychotherapists
*by M***. on October 9, 2020*

In my 40 years as a practicing psychologist, I have not come across a professional book that has had as much impact on the breadth of my understanding of the dynamics of narcissism, on the depth of my relational work with clients suffering from having experienced traumatizing narcissism at the hands of those upon whom they depended on for care, and on the clients themselves to whom I gave the book at some point in the course of treatment. With eloquence, and in language that is meaningful to professionals, and accessible to the layperson who might be in search of greater understanding of their suffering, Daniel Shaw clearly, and empathically lays out the intergenerational transmission of narcissism and its devastating effects on those who have experienced it in various relational contexts. He brings in knowledge and theory from many other current experts on narcissism and dissociation, such as Kalsched, Howell and Bromberg, and going back historically, Winnicott, Fairbairn, and the early psychoanalysts. He integrates their contributions into his own elegant formulations, and brings in examples from literature and theatre to illustrate some of his ideas. Also included are illuminating, and deeply moving case examples from his own clinical practice. Clients of mine who have read the book consistently describe being “seen” by Shaw in an unprecedented way, often bringing me excerpts that are particularly touching to them. What an enormous gift to those who have experienced such suffering in life. The understanding patients receive from Shaw’s attuned and caring descriptions of what have been the core dilemmas that have shaped their adaptations to developmental adversity throughout their lives, has enhanced their therapeutic process significantly Daniel Shaw is a gifted writer and theoretician, as well as an extraordinarily compassionate and attuned human being. His emphasis on the necessity for the analyst to fully engage from an intersubjective perspective with clients, showing up with authenticity and appropriate transparency in the analytic process is woven throughout the book, and has become a guiding light to me in my own work. I have given Shaw’s book to numerous colleagues who share my enthusiasm and it has become a centerpiece in the Master’s level curriculum of professional trainings I collaborate in teaching. I am grateful beyond words for his contribution, and look forward to his further publications.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Excellent, well-written, worthwhile read!
*by K***T on July 29, 2016*

I purchased this book after hearing the author speak at a conference, and to contribute to my studies of abusive churches/cults. Daniel Shaw present two ideas that I found particularly powerful and enlightening in this book. 1. There is a type of narcissist rightly called a "traumatizing narcissist"; one who transfers his/her shame/inadequacy/fear, etc., out of himself/herself, and onto those whom he/she relates to. Shaw's perspective is primarily shaped through his observations as a psychoanalyst, but readily applies to the more severe instances of pastoral/spiritual abuse found in some churches. The book contributed greatly to my studies of false teachers/false prophets in Christian churches. 2. A worthy goal in people-helping is to seek a healthy expression of what Shaw terms "analytic love." This is a relationship goal in which both the client and the analyst relate as equals in a mutually respectful relationship marked by consideration, kindness, empathy, and equality. Shaw's primary focus is to address and criticize the coldness of a professional relationship in the counseling environment, in which the counseled is de facto "under" the care and authority of the counselor. The counselor (in this defective system) may express superiority, lack of love/concern, etc., in any number of subtle (and not so subtle) ways, perpetuating the distance between the "helper" and the one being helped. In doing so, the counselor often creates the same conditions of which the client/patient is seeking to recover from: an absence of love and protection from care-givers. I did not expect to find what is (to me) such a clear indictment of the tendency to relate as an authority figure in pastoral counseling, in such a way that creates distance between the member and the pastor, and prohibits a genuine, relational, therapeutic engagement that best expresses the Christian goal of edification and agape love. While this is not a Christian book, and the author's beliefs regarding faith are not revealed--it is a clear and insightful (though unintended) presentation of a healthy, Christ-like model of pastoral care. Highly recommended.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ No wasted sentence. Clinical and compassionate.
*by F***A on June 14, 2015*

I'm not a practicing therapist. I am the adult child of a subjegating narcissist who was also a practicing therapist. I've read many books on the narcissism subject in my struggle to grasp this relationship and its dynamics. And I've tried a few therapists. I found therapists frustrating in how benign they saw narcissists - as silly, vain and people who purchased plastic surgery. And therapists want to keep the focus on you at the very time you're navigating complicated group dynamics. I found some support groups too "nervous nellie" in their demonization of "pathological" narcissists from whom they were recovering. Many of the other books I read added small insights to understanding the subject but would also lead one astray in recovery - one such book says almost all narcissists get worse with age. That isn't true. This book stays true, and shines a bright light without making false declarations in order to sound authoritative. It hits the sweet spot - in recovery, one has to understand the narcissist, but also has to understand, de-fog himself. This book is not too gentle not too harsh, without being watered down either. It bravely illuminates a facet of a relationship with the problematic narcissist: subjegation. What I especially liked was his reconsideration of the term "pathological" narcissist. It's the best contribution since Pressman and Pressman's The Narcissistic Family (1997.) Clinical and effective. (I also highly recommend George Simon's book "Character Disturbance." ) ---------- I would advise readers skip over the very small section on the Tea Party.

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*Last updated: 2026-11-04*