Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why

I wish I had read this book sooner. It would have been a great resource for me when I was still in my abusive marriage. However, the knowledge I’m gettin from it now will benefit me as I move forward.

I LOVE this book - every woman should read it before it is too late, even before getting into a serious relationship. It helped me and some friends understand what was going on in our relationships and take appropriate measures. I bought it for my Kindle app so I could read it discretely when he was not around (at lunch or in various waiting rooms) since he had a habit of scrutinizing everything I did and every conversation I had with anyone, accusing me of anything and everything aggressively in order to try to pry something out of me, even if it didn't exist in the first place. What I liked about the book is that it was straight to the point and not tainted by religious beliefs or making excuses for our tormentors, neither is it hateful towards men. It explained where the behaviors came from and how some could hopefully be curved in some cases so this is not a pure guide to divorce book. It is a save-yourself-from-bad-relationships book. The book helps to assess who/what you are dealing with and anticipate the cheap blows and games these men play with women in order to achieve their goals - although, I am sure that same sex relationships do see their fair share of such situations. Soon after I started reading I recognized the behaviors described by the author. I was able to ask my then husband the right questions to find out if there was any hope or not, make some requests to help make my days easier to deal with and later on, plan my exit strategy - there was no flags that I was in immediate physical danger. After I left, I once again witnessed the behaviors detailed by the author but this time I was out of his reach... The threats, the promises to get me back under his control... I was able to navigate my way out, back to sanity and safety. I am sure it helped me avoid some bad mistakes and associated drama. It is very difficult and painful to act and leave a man for whom we have feelings, but sometimes it is what NEEDS to be done. It hurt, I cried but it got better. It has now been 15 months since I left and my only regret is not leaving sooner. I gave this book to 2 friends... Both found it very informative. One improved her living conditions by setting boundaries and negotiating (he adjusted after he figured out that she was no kidding and that she would definitely leave if something didn't change), the other left her abusive husband (who was in disbelief) and is on to a happier life, rebuilding her self esteem will take a while. Both were initially under the impression that their husbands behaviors and expectations were "normal" and that they were the useless spouse, so often at fault. Thank you very much Dr Susan Forward, I will be forever grateful that you took the time to share all of this with us.

It was truly devastating, in the best possible way, for me to read this book. It helped me see how my behavior was supporting a toxic marriage, and how no amount of therapy or communication was ever going to "fix" this relationship. I cried every day while reading this book because it was the first time someone explained to me what was happening in plain English, and with real life examples that I could see in my daily life. I cried because I was grieving, recognizing that this was not the marriage I had hoped for. It helped me dig deep when I started doing the exercises. Mind you, I do have a therapist, and a very supportive family, who helped me pack up and move when I was good and ready. It was truly a sad day when I left my husband, in some ways. But in other ways I'm smiling again, I'm taking full breaths and rebuilding my friendships, which I had let go of. I'm going back to re-read some of the chapters to figure out where and who I am now, and take the next steps of making sure I never attract or enable this toxic masculine behavior again. Its going to take time to believe in myself, trust relationships, and have the courage to open my heart. I have not lost hope in men, but I do recognize that misogyny and toxic masculinity is pervasive and that is not what I want in my life. The next book should be imagining something better, a healthy, balanced relationship. Now that would be something!

I've spoken to a lot of people, both men and women, stuck in abusive relationships. If you've ever wondered how a man or woman in an abusive relationship can't "just leave", this book explains why and how it happens. I've been in a long-term relationship with someone I suspected was a misogynist, but never confirmed until I read this. He wasn't verbally or physically abusive, but he was very emotionally abusive and believed women owed him everything. And I'd never felt freer than when we finally broke up years later. To anyone who thinks abuse is just physical, think again. Verbal and emotional abuse can inflict just as much damage, especially in the long-term. I'm on a path to self-healing, and this book has helped me examine some of the relationships I've had in the past, and why I found it so hard to "just leave". Well-written with real-life examples, I found it to be a riveting read. A must-read if you suspect you're in an abusive relationship, have been in the past, or know somebody who is and want to help or understand them.

This book describes why some men live to tear down the women that they love. It explains why the relationship leaves you less than you were before; less happy, less successful, less beautiful, less confident, and less financially secure. The exercises are not difficult, yet help to restore self confidence and rational thinking. My favorite, and personally most powerful, was the labeling exercise. Another thing that I liked was that the author does not dictate that the woman should leave. Instead, she leads you on a path to self actualisation through setting boundaries which occasionally leads to a healthy relationship, but sometimes , to ending it.

Maravilhoso quando descreve os himensa e as mulheres que se sujeitam. Só erra ao afirmar que se pode vinverno bem com eles. Isso é impossível, tal qual curar um psicopata

bon livre, bien écrit, informatif, à recommander vivement car l'on n'a jamais assez d'information pertinente auteur très bien dans le sujet

This book helps me understand the dynamics in my family and why things are the ways they are. It also clears off a lot of misconception that I have about relationships. I now realize that I can't just sweep crazy under the rugs and hope for things to be okay.

Tolles Buch

My mother had this book and I’ve given it to 3 women in my life. Very helpful.